Tuesday, March 15, 2005
::INSPIRE::
I don't understand why is it that however long or hard I practise, I still don't improve. Okay, I only practised twice since last tuesday but each time I practise, I do spend quite a lot of time on it! Maybe it's still not enough. But I am getting so sick and tired of it. It seems that I am just not the cut out for anything!!! What the hack. Maybe I should just concentrate more on my studies and quit thinking of such things. But I really want to do something good out of it! I don't want my time spent in the stupid orchestra to be wasted! Of course I know my existence there is totally worthless. Anyway, I left CO early today because I wanted to visit my grandmother who is lying in the hospital looking so sick and tired. She's in quite a bad state. I could hardly make out what she is saying now. She was coughing as she ate something that resembled baby food. The minor stroke that she suffered from kind of affected her gullet or throat or something. And when I reached there, she had just came back from her dialysis treatment. It's really painful. And her arms are full of those needle scars. Anyway, she was quite happy to see me. Said I was a good girl. And I said indeed I am a good girl! Haha. Made her smile a little. She can be discharged tomorrow after her lunch, she told me.
